Last 4 days in 2008.

What does this mean to me?
It means time is passing very fast and now i'm 20 year old and 25 days. Stepping my feet into semester 5 next year. Unpredictable partner medical school that I will be going.

Refresh back what had happened throughout this year...
Many sharp Peaks and Valleys in emotional graph if i were to draw it... just like the weather nowadays...

Most memorable events:
Foremost: I had this deepest valley in the beginning of this year. One of IMU gal used terribly rude and bad words to describe me. For about a month it affected me. This was not a good feelings, it mixed a lots of feelings in the 30days period. I did not know why and what had happened to her that she would want to put those phrases on me!

Slight increase in the market: when We ~9people joined the IM (infinity millers) for Klang Gate climb. Though I had to wake up at 3am something, i felt really good and refreshing after the climb and i got to know MORE people in this climb. Surprisingly, at first, i anticipated only 4-5 people would followed me to this climb but until I woke up most of my friends in my gang were following also. Haha... I was glad that they followed and enjoyed the journey!

Dropped into another valley: when exam result was out, unsatisfied with the result i got in this terrible month.

rapidly rise peak: ELECTIVE period!!! 10 people in our gang, in 2 cars we went from west to east, stopping at Taman Negara, Cherating, Terengganu and Redang Island. This was the happiest roadtrip i ever joined.

chaotic graph: when my hormonal was in imbalance and stress period.

slight down period: IMU cup. I had to face my flawS and training almost everyday.

Another peak: during this december, i have quite a number of peaks period and some down times also. First peak was during PH's b'day, the IMU gal asked for apologize from me. I was shocked after such a long time and she came.

Another peak: PD trip. I joined this trip which organised by another group of friends and without telling one of my buddy. Thus, I was hiding in Sorento here and there throughout the trip to PD. It was fun! LX, SY and SK were 3 very creative people who asked me to hide in the closet before my buddy opened it. This surprised event was the most memorable period for this year. Haha!!! After surprised her, she hitting everyone for not telling her. Haha!!! Then, they secretly put my name on the cake for b'day celebration. OMG, i was real blur... i didn't c my name!!!

Another high peak: DEC 2!!! waken up by housemates at 3 in the morning to played poker and drink beer, eat cake, dance...
Night time, we went OUG plaza eat vietnamese food. And i got a nike shirt from my gang, nike sock from KN and funny monkeys game from my housemates!!!
Two days later, another fren gave me a billabong sling bag!!! OMG!!!haha
Last week, my melaka fren gave me cute 'clinic'!
I received the most sms, wishes and gift i ever did in my life!

Really surprised me!

I was really tired and sleepy when i received your msn called.
It indeed surprised me and i must say that i stared at your msn and i don't know what to type and had a mixture of lots of feelings: Happy of cause, now that i finally can let go this sorrow events, Sad, a little, cause its all misunderstandings (so, think and ask before you act), shock, unrealistic (caused it's been a while ago, i really hope that we can talk again, but i nvr expect that u'll apologized to me).

There's still an awful feeling toward you, i must say this. However, thanks for apologizing.

Stepping back and look at the sky.

The biggest Liar i ever met is among us.

I hate liar and deadly kia-su people.

Z is the person i named and I tried to not to dislike Z but Z is taking for granted and I can't hold on the breathe anymore. Volcano is going to erupt, if residents surrounding did not evacuate immediately they will burn to death.

I wonder why on earth is this person so catty.

It's another version of Z in men among us. Others may not realized Z behaviors but i have enough of it. It's making me really MAD now!

My mom was the coolest person. I remember she anticipated this incident.

Do you know you are annoying?! Am i not making myself clear enough?!

Stop talking to me about studies!! IT"S HELL IRRITATING!! Stop following me! I won't disappear without photostat notes!! crazy!!! Stop opening your door like u wanna remove it, no wonder your door is going to spoil. Stop Stop Stop!!! No need to lock your god damn hell door as No one will wanna go in without knocking it because you are the only person will do that!!!

I hate horror movie!

Damn 'quarantine' stupid movie! makes me insomnia now!
Dun ever go to watch this darn movie!
it just like cloverfield, using that stupid dv to film this movie! ...
and then its god damn horrible storyline ...
aH!!!! i can't sleep!!!

Human are complicated animal.

Every single things of human are complicated. So complicated that sometimes you can't use naked eyes to differentiate them. Why is it so?

Different people thinks differently. One perceives an event as correct but the other might perceives it as wrong or neutral opinion. Hmm...

So messy that sometimes it makes me really fed up to care and know too much about human. I figured out that keep things simple are way to make your life happier. Stop busy-body to know things that you are not supposed to know or is really none of your business.
Exp:
During exam time, I don't like people KEEP talking about studies and how much a person has studies or "Die, I think i can't finish my studies". You can complaint about it but not every minutes and seconds. It is good to relief stress by saying it out, but not keep on talking about it, it ended up with increase stress among people who are listening and your selves. Or maybe not to yourselves cause you might have finished it long time ago and just making fun to pretend that you haven't. Don't keep telling me these words! please! You do not know how much it annoyed me. It's already stressed that i almost threw out every night when i was studying. Additionally, you do not actually haven't finished your studies. You actually have finished it long time before i did. I know that okay, I'm not a fool. You studied every night till 3-4am then woke up the other morning at 7.30am, i know that and such a long hours of studies, you dared telling me u haven't finished? The way you acted when people said they haven't really finished already showed me you were actually lying. Please, you not actually a good actor. Though i don't want to know but my ears are too good to hear them or you all have problem with your ears to listen to them. I do not know.

It is a fault to be a good listener? I'm not piss off about it but I really have no idea why i can hear things you both can't. I DO NOT WANT to hear, and i just heard them! It's annoying to me! Don't think i'm so kepo that wanted to hear what you guys saying. Please, I'm not interested. It's loud and clear. *breath in deeply* Probably my room location or i'm too quiet inside here. Never mind, it doesn't matter at all.

Liar vs Honesty

Why Human lied? I just read a story book, do not know it's true or not. There was a studied in Europe, it said that average human lied 88000 lies in one's life and mostly are for sake of goodness. It is? I don't think so, so as the writer. So why do brain wants to lie? For other's goods? For avoidance of troubles? For own's sake? For money? For Kia-suness? To show off? For what?

For me, I lied to avoid troubles mostly and I usually will tell my mom about my lies, to my mom, i lied to prevent her worriment... i don't know, too many already.

Filial.
Parents, there are many kinds, some really cares their children, but some do not even bother.
If you parents do, please it is really killing me to know that children are not filial. I have really bad temper about this kinds of things. So, I avoid sometimes to know too much about what my brother doing. I can't stop my anger to scold him. But i don't want to have any lesions among us. Better to keep really quiet.
I met one case, A has DM and on dialysis. A's wife has stroke recently. A has 2 children, one in s'pore, the other in kl, working as lawyer. A n wife not staying with 2 children. When I talked about A's family, i could felt that A were in depressed and the tear almost dropping out from the lacrimal glands.
If a parents could bring you up as a lawyer, I have no reason why you can't repaid them by give them some love. The bond between parents and chilren are not REPAID, but it is a child's responsibility to take care of them, if you can't, at least call them or drive home every weekend to see them. Though it might be tiring or your parents asked you not to go back, but it is a HUMAN's must RESPONSIBLILITY to have it done. They worked so much in oldern to build a castle or a world for you so that you can study and become a professionalman. You don't just know how to use their money to build another BIGGER castle for your lover and not cared about their feelings! I HATE this. If you wanna build a bigger castle for your lover, please please please use ur own blood-worked money to get it. They have actually given you so much that more than a normal parents can afford and you still ask for more! What's in your mind you thinking. You don't even think of buying a massage machine for them. I haven't work, if i am, i will buy. You ask so many things from them, do you ever give them any? I feel really sorry to my parents, they sounded so sad when dad said they can't cook today and tomorrow. You always go out with your friends or fiance, care about them please. U are not foster by your fiance or friends. Everything u have is from your parents, not THEM. I do not say that you are wrong if u care about ur fiance and friends, i said you have to do it appropriately, put more time and efforts on what your parents' needs. You being really insensitive to them.

What's more to say?

Late night.

I scolded one guy 3 days ago. Not sure it was a serious quarrel cause along the process I was help by friends. They just help me in forming sentences caused i was shocked and emptiness strike me that time, i did not expect to receive that message from him. I spilled out every single of my feelings... though I know is cruel but it reached a stage where I really could not hold my emotions.

His first ques: 'Did i ever think about his feelings?'
(I did not feel angry, i just had a funny feeling about this ridiculous ques. Really it is amazing that he did come out with this ques. Did he process this question before he sms me? Hmm... maybe he was really sleepy. I emphasized it many thousand times that we ARE just FRIENDS, even if the best and most important friends, i will never say this to him/her just because of 2 idiotic sms replies. OMG! Friends will not feel sad or so deeply disappointed about his/her another friend not replying his messages. The first message, I admit that i purposely do not wanted to reply. Cause we were going to play basketball in 15mins time, why should I reply if we were going to meet in a short while? But very disappointedly, u complaint and give me that responds.

Feeling is a strangest thing in human. I can not control it, when i said NO for two times, the most is three times, i really mean it. Please, do not ever forced me or test my patience too many times, I'll get damn fed up. What's wrong with being just friends? Friends are less complicated as i had told u earlier. But the way u act after i told u did not make any different as before. Well i should not say that because u did reduce the following me part. U can changed anything but the feeling will be there forever, and my answer still no. And do not compared u with ur friends, is their fate to have the chance to be with their gf.

Haiz... I do not know what am i writing now...

Do u ever know u r forcing me every second? Please ask someone for opinion, okay? It's not working for long run in future.
U asked me to tell u things that u did that will disappoint me. Oh god! what should i say? I was shock again by ur answer. Well, first, I never tell people their bad things directly as i think they r just friend, tolerate it or just leave for the sake of peace. Unless hmm.... the person really don't mind or it reaches the threshold where my feelings overtake my control. I usually forgive them after I wake up from a long sleep. Then, I'm not a person who knows how to control feelings, so if i get mad, i'll just hmm.... this will sound crazy... cry or break pens or bad words coming out or shut up with shit faced... and then, the person i scolded will get sad or guilt... i hate those feelings myself, so, i do not really like them to come around me...
Back to the ques u first sms me. I think about ur feelings okay! seriously but think it as a way in friendship. So, i did not scold u...
Do u know that everytime u put there in ur pm saying how sad i made u ... that's really bad for me u know... U rmb the 'insensitive piece of shit' story... i became quite sensitive after that... but i did not feel any guilt until friends surrounding keep saying that it was my fault again... It's really annoying when i did nothing and i have to feel guilt... yer!! this is kinda forcing u know? forcing me to talk to u.. forcing me to become ur friends or sms u or wat '!!!!! what the hack!!!

such a simple role 'friend' and u make it so complicated .... as if i was ur gf whom required to care ur feeling every seconds and reply ur sms every second... COME ON! I SAID NO... being friends u still request for so many things... Please talk to ur housemates or someone else about ur problem. I do not want to continue as i'm still mad and i need time before we can actually talk again... I'm really exhausting... hopefully after this 'window period' u'll find out ur mistakes and not changed it because of me but for ur own sake.

Anyway, sorry for being straight to u, i dun feel good either...

I am too over.

Woke up this morning at 7.00am.
Brushed my tooth.

Glimpse at my parent's room, oops, their luggage wasn't there.
I asked my mom in a sleepy voice, "Are we going today?"
Shocking expression in my mom face "Yes".

My mind sudden blank and I was thinking, "What the... ? I don't even know i'm going travel today."
Last second packed my stuffs and went to Muar with them.

经典

"平凡沒什麼不好，平凡才最有力量！"

"每一個baby都是上帝牽著手帶到這個世界上來的，沒有任何一個是意外。"

"幸福如履薄冰"

"機會就像小偷，來得時候不經意，等走了後，才知道損失慘重! "


"我會證明給你看，真心去對待一個人，是不需要有條件的。"