I kind of dislike something deep inside myself these days... weird though, it becomes more obvious and uncontrollable when you began to dislike it and realized its existence.
I dislike that I'm becoming more realistic about my surrounding, I becoming very mean to people, I compared with things that I ain't suppose to, I lied, ignored and judged people i disliked every minutes, talking bad about people... What am I doing? What kind of monster is planting inside me? I hate people talking bad about me, so I don't like myself do that to others, but I am doing it. Oh C'mon, please STOP IT right now! The Comparison thing is really making me mad and really crazy for a while...
I tried to stop it, but it has a very strong power over me that I do not really get to inhibit it myself. How am I going to manage it?
I think I need to put myself (the whole of myself) into my studies, forget about everything (clearly remove from my mind) and concentrate on my things!
Please for god sake!!!
Monday, January 26, 2009
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