I kind of dislike something deep inside myself these days... weird though, it becomes more obvious and uncontrollable when you began to dislike it and realized its existence.
I dislike that I'm becoming more realistic about my surrounding, I becoming very mean to people, I compared with things that I ain't suppose to, I lied, ignored and judged people i disliked every minutes, talking bad about people... What am I doing? What kind of monster is planting inside me? I hate people talking bad about me, so I don't like myself do that to others, but I am doing it. Oh C'mon, please STOP IT right now! The Comparison thing is really making me mad and really crazy for a while...
I tried to stop it, but it has a very strong power over me that I do not really get to inhibit it myself. How am I going to manage it?
I think I need to put myself (the whole of myself) into my studies, forget about everything (clearly remove from my mind) and concentrate on my things!
Please for god sake!!!
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